Kusavapo kukakavara - chiratidzo takangosikwa ukama?

Tose tinoziva kuti ari kuramba kukakavara uye mukurwisana kukuparadzwa yemichato. Asi chii kana pane kurukura nokusatya? Zvakadini kana ukama anogona isaparara nokuda kwokushaya kukakavara pakati pomurume nomudzimai?

mashiripiti reshiyo

Doktor Dzhon M. Gottman chinhu marezenisi wepfungwa. Kwemakumi emakore, nyanzvi dziri kudzidza kugadzikana ukama hwemhuri. Akasvika pakuzivikanwa nokuti vakawana "vaiita reshiyo" rekuva uye kunaka mukukurukurirana vadyidzani, inova 5 kusvika 1. Nemamwe mashoko, zvakasimba uye kuramba pamwe, mumwe nomumwe zvaizopedza ne kunaka chiitiko shanu zvakanaka.

Mune zvimwe zviitiko, Ibva kupopotedzana angabatsira?

zvinonyadzisa zvakawandisa kuzvidza ukama. zvifakazira chokwadi ichi. Zvisinei, maererano dzidziso Dr. Gottman, kushayikwa negativity kunogonawo kuva chiratidzo vakatongerwa muchato. Kuwana Zvakanyanya Kunaka Panguva Yepamuviri nengaidzo pakati akasiyana zvachose pakatarisana manzwiro ndiyo asiri chetsika maonero ukama hwemhuri. nyanzvi nhasi yedu nharo kuti negativity vanofanira kuvapo, kana chinangwa chako chiri kuvaka simba uye kwenguva refu mubatanidzwa.

Negative inoita basa rinokosha mune dzimwe prosocial mabasa

Kana pfungwa havana tinoda, zvisikwa haana kusika navo. Havafaniri chete yokufudza mufaro, asi kuti pave nechiitiko - injini mberi kwevanhu. Rekusuwa basa rinokosha mune dzimwe prosocial mabasa. Tiri kutaura kusarudzwa kubata dzakashandiswa kuti murege kushanda uyewo nokuda incitement kuti uchidanana manzwiro. Muchiitiko chokutanga, pachishandiswa kunaka zvakaitika vanhu kunzwisisa zvii varege kudziviswa mune ramangwana. Kana yechipiri, havafaniri kupa rudo kufa. Vazhinji vedu takanzwa achiti: "Pashure simba nharo anouya nokukurumidza kuyanana". Partners uyo asina neevamwe, kushayikwa ingi ari ukama. Saka, vakaroorana havafaniri kuzivisawo hondo negativity muupenyu hwavo. Kusiyana, upenyu dzichikunetsa-akasununguka kukakavara vaizova kutsungirira mikukutu uye upenyu zvishoma.

Kukakavara anobatsira kuti ajairane nokuchinja

Dr. Gottman pfungwa ndechokuti vakaroorana vanokwanisa mumwe remedial dzinovaka. Chokwadi chokuti nyika yakatipoteredza ari dzichichinja, uye tinofanira kuita sei. Pamangange ndiyo yakanakisisa akakodzera kuti chinangwa ichi. Saka vadiwa kwete chete kudzidza kuchinjira kumamiriro ezvinhu matsva, asi nguva dzose kuramba "pamusoro chete wavelength."

Kana uwandu vakaderera yepamusoro

Tinoramba kuziva zviratidzo kuroorana wakakwana. Taiongorora "mashiripiti reshiyo" manzwiro mumba rinopindirana uye vakawana kuti mumwe kukakavara vakaroorana vanofanira 'zvinyatsobuda "iri shanu-nedanga nerokuti. Kuwedzera nhamba yokurwisana, hazvigoni discounted uye unhu (sei chisimba vakakakavadzana uye refu). Dr. Gottman uye vamwe vake panguva kuedza avo vakawana kuti kuverengera skirmishes havana kuva muviri chaizvoizvo sezvo chisimba hondo chaizvo mupfungwa vakaroorana. Saka, kusava kunaka panova mukurwisana vanotozvikuvadza chamuita kuti kupokana chero zvakwakanakira. Vakawana kuti kuti nounyoro dzinopesana maviri anozivikanwa kushayikwa rudo, vafarire, kuzvicheka-ndyaringo, mafaro, mufaro, rutsigiro uye urombo.

Kusiyana neizvi, imwe kusagadzikana ukama kuramba tichishanda kurwa havasi kutungamirira atsamwira. Partners ari kwomubatanidzwa uyu vane pane mumwe utano migumisiro. Uye regai simba ichi hachisi akanaka nguva dzose. Chimwe chinhu chiri pachena: muenzaniso ichi pamwe kungaita kuti isimbe kana vadyidzani ichakurukura "zvemashiripiti reshiyo" uye kushandira pakusika yakanaka zvakatipoteredza achisimbisa zvakanaka mukukurukurirana.

reshiyo Izvi akakodzera basa

Chinoshamisa, ari "vaiita reshiyo" 5 kusvika 1 rinoshanda zvebhizimisi. Ongororo dzakaratidza kuti inonyatsobudirira vatungamiriri panguva kutsoropodzwa mutevedzeri ose siya avhareji 5.6 zvakanaka mashoko. Sezvaungaona, duku inorwara akaipa chinhu chinokosha yose muitiro. Chokutanga, uchitsoropodzwa (uye bopoto) ari kufarirwa kuteerera. Chechipiri, akaipa inofambiswa kunodzivirira kuvarairwa.