Humor Jewish: prices. Funny majee Jewish

Wakambofunga kuti ndezvipi vechiJudha kusetsa wechokwadi? Chii zest ake uye kunyange kwayakanga yabva? Nyaya ino inotsanangura zvizere zvose zvinhu uye nhoroondo enyambo majee nezvevaJudha mhando.

A zvishoma nhoroondo uye zvimwe zvinhu

Nyaya yokudana zvinosetsa zviri nyore kuziva, zviri mumwe chikamu majee, nyaya uye anecdotes, umo mune dzakawanda vatambi abatwa anosetsa ezvinhu. Zvisinei, zvinosetsa Jewish - ndiko chinhu kungogumira inoda majee. Russian shoko "gag" mushanduro kubva muchiHebheru rinoreva "uchenjeri." Haasi masanga, nokuti chaicho zvinosetsa Jewish anoreva uye kunosanganisira ruzivo rwakanaka muchiJudha. majee zhinji vechiJudha pavanoseka benzi rabbi kunzwisisa sedambe, unofanira kuziva zvakawanda nyaya dzomuBhaibheri.

The vanonyanya kutaurwa munyika dzakawanda dzakakurumbira anecdotes - a kunozivikanwa Jewish jokers: Herschel Hank Chabad, Ephraim Graydinger. Herschel kumumvuri zvechokwadi, akararama muzana remakore rechi18 uye aizivikanwa somunhu anonwa uye mupemhi anopedza zvaiti.

Mazuva ano, dzidziso zvinosetsa Jewish hwachinja. The yepakutanga zvinoreva zvinosetsa iri anenge akarasika ayo chaizvo. Zvino zvinosetsa mhando iyi kunonzwisiswa sechinhu nyore kwazvo, akajeka uye akapotsa nguva vakamuzvidza kusaziva uye naivety vaJudha nyore.

Chii chinokosha pamusoro majee Jewish

The pakuva zvinosetsa Jewish ndiko kuzvipira ndyaringo uye chisekeso zvose kushayiwa kwete chete nevanhu vechiJudha vakakwana, asi vanhu vose. majee zhinji vechiJudha zvinoda muteereri imwe erudition pamusoro nhoroondo vechiJudha vanhu. Uye nhoroondo yaro izere zvinosuwisa (nekuti vaJudha kazhinji vave vakawirwa mukufamba munhoroondo yenyika), majee dzakawanda, kunze huru kunonakidza uye musoro mutoro, pane pfungwa yechipiri umo pachavo nhengo norudzi urwu vane mhinduro yakakodzera uye witty uye negadziriso zvakawanda nezvinetso zvoupenyu.

Inonyanya kufarirwa misoro majee dzechiJudha uye anecdotes

Pane zvakawanda chikuru madingindira, rakatangwa majee siyana dzakawanda. Zvichida mumwe zvikuru nevanhu vanogona kunzi anecdotes zvezuva nezuva. Ivo kutsanangura nyaya duku kuti kuitika muupenyu somuJudha. Kufanana majee vechiJudha kwakaita zvaiti, azere zvemarudzi ose mazano tsvina uye kuratidza ukama vaJudha kuti nyaya dzavo. MuJudha sokuti kwatiri kuzvitsoropodza, uye kazhinji anoita se chinhu chinosekwa, izvo pachazvo kunoita penga majee.

Pane dzimwe nyaya, asi ivo vari chaiwo uye zvinoda ruzivo mumunda eBhaibheri, uye zvimwe zvinhu zvizhinji uye tsika dzechiJudha vanhu. Somuenzaniso, vaJudha kazhinji kusekwa benzi Vanarabhi vasina kudzidza, zvisinei, havasi kuyambuka muganhu kumhura uye Talmud. Ndiyo zvinosetsa Jewish namano, azere vaiti, mavambo uye anochengeta uchenjeri uye tsika dzechiJudha vanhu.

Humor Jewish: prices, mashoko uye mapapiro mashoko

Rega kuongorora. nyaya zhinji vechiJudha vakanga zvakakurumbira zvikuru nguva Soviet, vamwe vavo vakanga kushandurwa, uye kubva majee prices inoshandiswa nesu kure. Izvozvo vachiti wose anzwa kanenge kamwe muupenyu hwavo.

• Unofunga I yokunyarara? Handimbozivi kutaura chinhu!
• isu Mwari kudzivirira kubva pavakadzi yakaipa, kubvira zvakanaka vanofanira kungwarira!
• , Zvino anowana kana upenyu hazvirevi kuvandudza kuipa.
• - In mhuri yako pane vaJudha? - Kwete, ndiri iye!

Mhando dzakasiyana-siyana zvinosetsa Jewish

Kufanana chero anecdote, chiHebheru ane rutivi kushandura uye zvinoenderana nemitemo imwe nyika kana nzvimbo, uyewo vanhu vanogara mairi. Pamusanapekushanduka nhoroondo zvinhu, izvozvo zvakaitika kuti vazhinji vevaJudha vaigara Odessa. Uye, chokwadi, ndivo havaoni paiya inonzi Odessa zvinosetsa. Feature Odessa majee kuti pavanoseka makaro kwevaJudha. Chinenge chinosekesa ose wittily rinosimbisa chokwadi kuti nhengo dzose rakapihwa rupi akafanana mari kuti vane manomano uye makaro.

Heano mienzaniso Odessa zvinosetsa wakajeka:

- Uye nei vaJudha vari nemhino kwazvo? - Nokuti mhepo akasununguka!

- Unorevei, rudo pakutanga kuona? All chete, chii kutenga mumatanda, kwete kutarisa Gengi!

The wokuhofisi anobvunza vaJudha kuti: "Unobvepi akauya" kumuJudha akamupindura, "Where kunobatsireiko kuti imi moga Nokurasikirwa ...?!".

Zvizoro kubva paGungwa Rakafa madhaka. Pakupedzisira, chokwadi hope kwemazana emakore vaJudha - kuti mari mumadhaka!

Odessa kusetsa

Odessa Jewish zvinosetsa rinowanzoshandiswa akarumbidza unyanzvi uye chinokosha maonero Odessa vaJudha. Nokuti Odessa kunyanya remutauro (vapfumi zvikuru, mavara uye mavara mutauro), vose majee sokuti funnier, uye akatorwa uye zvirevo, vakawanda vatova mapapiro. Odessans nokungwarira zvikuru kuchengetedza tsika dzavo uye kupfuudza chizvarwa nechizvarwa, zvose akakurumbira aphorisms uye anecdotes. Okuti "Humor nokuda Odessa!", "Tine chinhu kutaura" rakaonekwawo pano.

Ngativerengei kukudza chakanakisisa Odessa majee, umo sezvo vanonyanya kutaurwa kazhinji vanoita Rabinowitz, Solomon Markovich, Sarah Abramovna, Moishe, uye vamwe.

1. Mutorwa anobvunza odessite:
   - Hamuzivi sei kuenda mberi Privoz?
   - Ha! Uye achiri anobvunza ... sei ndichazoenda Privoz? Nemari!
2. Rose Moiseevna anotenda kuti chaiyo Odessa mukadzi hapana murume haangavi akapamba!
3. - Oh, Sarah, nhasi ini akaverevedza akawira masitepisi uye akaputsa chirebvu chake.
   - Usanetseka, vuvuzela, uchine vaviri zvakawanda!
4. - Ndichiri urombo, asi apo riri wakatuma kwamuri saka Sho vashanu kuuya pano chaizvo?
5. - Sarah Wee vanomiririra - woupombwe ichi vakandisiya, uye ini ndoga nomurume wake.
6. - vuvuzela, sezvo upenyu?
   - Taki kufunga kuti kufanana nenhunzi.
7. - Itzik Hello, makadii?
   - Hongu, pano, ndiri kuenda kuzororo.
   - With Sarah kana mufaro?
8. - Ndine urombo kudana saka nokunonoka, Solomon Avraamovich.
   - Ko iwe kunopera, Sophie shoma, hongu imi itai - hapana!
9. - vuvuzela, rukazvidzora-Ka terevhizheni. Ko kana vakati, Sho kuva isu tirarame zvakanaka, uye hatizivi ...
   
   

Modern Jewish kusetsa

Pari, vaJudha vakawanda majee nyaya kare kuti rakanga rarambidzwa. Somuenzaniso, kunyange makore 50 hamuna majee nhema. Black zvinosetsa majee inosanganisira pamusoro rufu, zvirwere nemarwadzo. Hekuno chimwe chezvinhu unoshamisa mienzaniso zvakaoma zvinosetsa mhando iyi:

inzwi Cranky uye whiny ane mwana: - Handidi dzose nguva kufamba famba!

Inzwi unopinza rababa vake - Nyarara! Kana musingadi kwazarirwa, ndinokuudzai, uye rimwe gumbo pasi yakasvika!

Sezvaunogona kuona, zvavaisiita zvinosetsa zvinoratidza pasina kutambura, uye nokuda dema kutya uye kutya. Kazhinji, chakavanzika zvinoreva zvakavigwa matema zvinosetsa uye kwakavanzika chimiro majee kunotangira nyaya pamberi zvakaipa munyika akasikwa naMwari.

Witty anecdotes pamusoro avanarabhi uchenjeri

nyaya dzakawanda ano wakayeriswa vadzidzisi Talmud, pavanaRabhi. Kana yapfuura majee dzaiwanzova zvinhu zvakaoma kuti zvinogona kunzwisiswa chete kana uchiziva eBhaibheri. Zvino kune vakawanda vemanyepo majee kuti vari nyore uye inonzwisisika, asi havazivi kutakura pfungwa huru uye vari yakaderera azvipire vulgarity. Ngatitarisei mienzaniso sei nyaya iyi inoratidza nyika vaJudha madingindira zhinji dzechitendero.

1. - Rabhi, zvinobvira kutaura nevakafa?
   - Chokwadi, asi havazorambi kupindura.
2. Rabbi anonyadzisa panguva basa:
   "Hapana mumwe munhu ngonono. Wake here!"
   Anonyadzisa: "Zvinobvumirwa here saka zvakakodzera kuisa kurara, iwe kundomumutsa?"
3. - Rabbi! - anobvunza Moshe. - Ponesai mukadzi wangu, iye anofa!
   Jesu anoenda mukamuri, ipapo iye anouya shure uye anoti:
   - Iye akatiponesa! Ini inotambwa munondo womutumwa rufu.
   Happy uye achionga Moishe anodzoka kumba, asi zvino anouya shure. - mukadzi wangu akafa, - anoti. - Zvakanaka, chikara ngirozi rufu! - achigumburwa rabhi. - Iye zvakadzipwa naye nemaoko ake!

Anecdotes pamusoro vaJudha vakakurumbira

A womumhuri unokosha yechiJudha mupfungwa zvinosetsa kwakawedzera paakaita nyaya vaJudha vakakurumbira zvikuru. The vanonyanya kutaurwa majee - zviri inonyatsozivikanwa unhu, zvidzidzo, vanyori, vanyori, pianists uye kunyange vanachiremba. Nenzira zvinofanira kucherechedzwa kuti vaJudha - unyanzvi chaizvo vanhu tinazvo hariperi simba mupfungwa uye kugona kukuru kudzidza nesimba. VaJudha vagara akadzidza chaizvo, kurangwa uye akapfuma rudzi, saka majee pamusoro vaJudha vakakurumbira havana kuvaregesa chinhu chinosekwa, asi nekusiyana, nyaya idzi dzinoratidza zvaiti uye unyanzvi vaJudha.

1. Mumwe munyori akati kuna bhururu wake:
   - Kubvira takasangana okupedzisira nguva, nhamba mafeni vangu kaviri!
   - Makorokoto! Uye handifungi here kuroorwa!
2. Mumwe mukadzi, vachirayira yakakurumbira painter Max Liebermann muotokuva yake, akabvunza vachida, uye kana mufananidzo zvakafanana yepakutanga.
   - Usanetseka, Ndichakupfuurai kunyora semi kupfuura iwe uri! - Lieberman akamuvimbisa.
3. Famous Viennese bovian vaBhera Haas anonyunyuta:
   - Handina mukadzi, hapana vana - uye kuti ndiye, zvinoitika, ndine upenyu nevamwe pane mufaro?